'My life may be unfulfilled but it isn't unhappy'

As Sanjay Leela Bhansali turned 52 earlier this week, he looks back at the years gone by with immense satisfaction.

“I feel I am at that stage of my life when all my hard work, all the knowledge and experience that I’ve gathered over the years have come to fruition. I feel more fulfilled and complete today than I did when I was 40,” Bhansali says.

 He is far more open to new ideas now.

“I am more adventurous now. I am more fearless as an artiste. I am working with various kinds of talent. I directed an opera in Paris in 2008. Now I want to do more of the things that I can do if I have a team around me. Today, I am working far harder than I did five years ago. I put in nearly 20 hours every day. And I am enjoying every bit of it," Bhansali says. 

He’s not big on birthday bashes because he never had one.

“We would distribute a packet of sweets to our class-mates. That was it. We never had birthday parties nor were we allowed to go to parties. Now it has become a habit to be on my own on my birthday. I am very happy that way," he says.

He is also happy with his single status. 

"I have chosen the life I lead. There were relationships that didn’t work out. I am basically a loner. I am not capable of moving ahead with the baggage of a relationship," he says.

Bhansali wouldn’t change anything in his life: "All the pain, suffering, love passion and conflict have made me what I am." 

“I make passionate love stories because I don’t have love in my life. My art completes my life. My life may be unfulfilled but it isn’t unhappy," he says.     

He says he makes movies for selfish reasons.

“When I make a film about a physically challenged person, I come away with so much. I learn to value what I have. My survival instinct sharpened after Black and Guzaarish. I’ve met quadriplegics who have lost the use of their limbs but not their spirit. They are not dark, defeated people. Some of them are very entertaining," he says.   

He remains a recluse at heart.

“I’m petrified of facing the camera. Even to shoot for a photograph is an ordeal. But it’s important to break free of your inhibitions at some point in your life. As long as what you do reaches out to people, I don’t think there’s any reason to stop yourself from doing anything," he concludes.