20 Oscar TIPS, from Bollywood!

A MUST set of Do's and Don'ts!

Save the date, the Oscars are coming!

Yep, it’s that time of the year when Hollywood’s biggest party is the focus of everyone not living under a rock.

When experts offer endless theories and predictions on who should win and who will not. And red carpet packs in more glamour than a New York Fashion Week.

Don’t feel too left out, Bollywood. For one, our very own Priyanka Chopra is presenting.

Secondly, there is a lot that the Academy Award nominees and guests can learn from Hindi movies.

No seriously, here’s a curated list of do’s and don’ts.

 

Delight the fans gathered to catch a glimpse of you by flashing that superstar smile.

 

Work out intensively like yummy mummy Ash if you don’t wish to pop out of that figure-hugging Versace.

 

A day at the spa just before the big day comes highly recommended from the lady with a million-dollar smile.

 

Treat yourself to a snazzy haircut. You never know, it could be the next Rachel.

 

Let ONLY a professional do your make-up.

 

Or else…egad!

 

Work on your lipstick skills. Do not mix up Hollywood with Halloween.

 

Spend an entire day in a walk-in closet and try out a zillion outfits till you’ve found the ‘ONE.’

 

Pick a dress that, ahem, highlights your best features.

 

Don’t forget to get a waxing appointment unless you are going to the Oscars as Chewbacca’s date.

 

Wear diamonds. Don’t let them wear you.

 

There IS something like too much bling. All that glitter is gold. And gaudy. 

 

The hotter your arm candy, the better the photo ops.

 

Don’t smoke during your speech. Rules are rules. Even if you are wearing that.

 

Don’t take phone calls in the middle of an award-winning speech even if it’s Spielberg himself.

 

Don’t start to thank your past reincarnation for god's sake. Because picture may be baaki, mere dost but the time limit for an Oscar speech isn’t.

 

Don’t be a sore loser. Camera catches everything.

 

Don’t be catty when applauding a colleague just because they’re up on stage and you’re not. Camera catches that too.

  

Remember what Gandalf said. Not all tears are evil. So go ahead, boo hoo all you want while thanking your friends, family, filmmaker or fish for contributing to your win.

 

Do the jhakaas Oscar dance!

Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece. Readers are requested to take the content with a pinch a salt.

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