When you're a features writer, you end up having to make up lists. Of greatest this and worst that. Of gangster movies. Of soundtracks. Of cricketers. Of Michael Schumacher's finest overtaking maneuvers. Of the scariest films ever. Of whatever in the world the editor whimsically wants to see a list of. Of whatever harebrained idea comes to you at three in the morning.
Some lists, of course, are harder than others. This week, I'm going to vainly attempt a weak defense of this one series of lists -- on the greatest English-language films of all time, covering the 1960s, the 1970s, the 1980s, the 1990s and the, um, 00s -- I did recently that proved to be a truly gruelling task, and brought me much argumentative e-mail.
Yet the point of this piece isn't in that defense (which'll pop around much later) or grumbling about how difficult listmaking can be; it's about how irresistibly addictive, how much goshdarned fun it is.
The fight is about details, sure, but -- and here's the crucial bit -- they are details that don't matter.
Fanboys love lists and I'm no exception, simply because its dashed enjoyable to pretend to be empirical about something that you can't possibly formulate like math. Film is a matter of opinion and there are millions of points of view on the same movies, and none is less valid than the other. You like it, sat through it, worship it, hate it -- and we could all be arguing about the same movie. And we'd all be right.
The fun, of course, lies in the debate. In the pointless attempts at defining if the Goldfinger 'painted-gold' scene rates higher than the catfight in From Russia With Love. If Amitabh's drunken slurring in Satte Pe Satta beats his cockroach rant in Hum. And so on and so forth. It's all madness and inane and can't possibly come down to numbers and rankings, no matter how many critics think so. (For the record, about these two: 'yes, it does,' and 'no way,' respectively.)
Fanboys spend as much time arguing in blissful futility about fantasy lists, about what actors should play what characters and what movie sequels should be made -- as if any one of us -- or, for that matter, editorial-roomful of people -- has the right to use that 'should.' Hah. Yet we do it because it's tremendous fun to pretend, and you're never too old to playact.
It's always hard to try and map out highlights of as abstract an art as cinema over a prolonged period of time, and these decade-wide lists were an absolute pain. There's a profound sadness in having to leave out wonderful films, and after reading all your mails on the subject, here are the films I totally agree should belong there -- but films I couldn't find room for. Goddamned inadequate number, that 10.
The 1960s: Bonnie And Clyde, man. A seminal film that defined a generation of Hollywood filmmakers. Yet also a film overshadowed, especially in impact, by films influenced directly from it, like The Godfather. Also, Stanley Kubrick's Lolita, the most deftly handled and acted adaptation of a truly unfilmable novel. Wow. Yet we had two Kubricks in there already, and I'm darned if I have to take out Dr Strangelove or 2001: A Space Odyssey. Perish the thought.
The 1980s: I still feel bad for leaving out Kubrick's The Shining, arguably the greatest horror movie ever made. Yet we'll let that loopy denouement be its cause of omission, no matter how effective the film. Also, no Kiss Of The Spider Woman? Sigh. Running out of excuses, but will reiterate its obscurity compared to the great cult hits that make up most of the ten.
The 1990s: This one caused a bit of an uproar with most of you feeling I'd overdosed on Quentin Tarantino. A realistic accusation, but the fact remains that both Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction are two of the most creative films of all time. I feel really gutted for leaving out The Truman Show for its prescience, and Schindler's List for its sincerity -- not to mention The Big Lebowski for its coolth -- but this really was a tough list to cut down, and the ten on board just asserted themselves automatically.
Readers, thanks so much for all your terrific mail on the lists above. Loved all your suggestions and wished we could take them all on board, but consider this piece an apology for not including some of your favourites: As you can see, I didn't include several of mine either. Sigh. Keep those fantastic inputs coming at senterfold@rediffmail.com. And oh, the Cruel Review Contest closes at the end of the year, so bring out your venom and write in now. Cheers, and see you next week