She's all British. He's all Punjab. They are a perfect mismatch. This antithesis provides the premise of Vipul Amrutlal Shah's,
Namastey London.
Seeing as this is a romantic comedy, there is no room for reality. Consequently, issues like confused upbringing of desis born and raised abroad, though, mentioned are never tackled.
In Shah's
London, desi kids gulp down vodka shots like banana milkshake and spend all free time burning the dance floors. Some others (an insufferable Upen Patel in a wasted side track) idle around shirtless bathing in the sun with their white girlfriend contemplating a live in relationship.
How do their parents react? The son is thrown out of the house. While a groom hunt commences for the daughter.
All this is established in an incoherent but fast-paced narrative. Essentially though,
Namastey London revolves around Jasmeet aka Jazz (
Katrina Kaif), a clearly pampered and indulged daughter of Mr and Mrs Manmohan Singh (Rishi Kapoor and Nina Wadia). Being the only child, she pretty much gets away with everything, which includes her desire to marry her thrice divorced English boss, Charlie Brown (a mediocre Clive Standen). The whole theatre knows Brown is a self-centred, chauvinistic brat. His marital screams it so. But Jasmeet is evidently all Jazz no brain.
Sensing trouble in Brown, her dad quickly plans a trip to India under the pretext of tourism. (That, my readers, in the language of cinema means a two minute tour of the picturesque Rishikesh, Haridwar, Agra and Hyderabad, which surprisingly Jonathan Bloom's camera hardly does any justice.)
Singh, actually, intends to get Jazz married off to the next best lad available. What follows instead is a hilarious series of goofy contenders obsessed with
Indian Idol, K-soaps and Numerology gurus, slyly hinting the impact of television on Indian youngsters today.
After a series of misadventures, he makes a final stop to his village in Punjab, giving Akshay Kumar his much-awaited chance to make a hero's entry into the screen/scene. Astride a bike, balle balleing in a bubblegum pink kurta, Arjun (his name in the film) makes his introduction to Jazz and family. It's love at first sight for this Punjab
da puttar.
Meanwhile, Jazz nauseates through the noisy camaraderie of her caricature relatives about dripping ghee, lassi
shassi, parathas and
makhan and desi
daru. Soon enough, her adamant father tricks her into marrying Arjun.
We know she'll play along. We know she won't let the marriage get consummated. We know that Arjun is going to burn his heart. Then again, we also know, how despite telling Jazz's sympathetic father he isn't up to any
herogiri, Arjun will