In a weekly chat with readers, Lovu Guru shares relationship advice and offers solutions.
Do you have a question to ask? Post them here!
For those who missed the chat on October 30, we bring you the edited transcript:
funny bunny: I like a batch Mate in my class. Problem is we both are married and I don't know if she reflects the feelings that I have for her.
Love Guru: funny bunny, some things are best left unexplored. This situation is one of them
vikram lohar: hi, we both r in relationship in 4 years ago. Now we both r married separately and have a child. She was my relative. Some time we meet on festivals and marriage function. She says she misses me a lot and want to have a relation. But when i called her to she did not reply why I don't know?
Love Guru: Vikram Johar, just as well. If you are warm and happy in your life, stay within it.
berrysherry: I am gay who is around 29 year old. As 377 is still holds good, my boy friend doesn't want to come out. He is scared as there is no legal security. He says unless it is not legal, if the worse case is walking out of home, it will be tough. What to do? I love him and he loves me. Are parents are forcing to get married as we are getting old.
Love Guru: Berrysherry, tough choice. Your boyfriend is right. So long as Sec 377 of the IPC is not recast, you will always keep running from the law. I suggest you come out with your family, explain the situation to them. Many are broad-minded and accept their children's sexuality. Yours could too. That way you maybe able to get out of the marriage market.
PINKY: Hello sir I had a bf we were in relationship for about 8 months but till date its been 4 years we know each other. He dumped me for no reasons but I know he only likes me and I like him. But now we don't talk to each other.. I only stopped talking to him..and now it’s been an year now. How can I be his friend again?
Love Guru: Pinky, are you sure he wants to be friends with you again? From what you say, seems to me that he is very content in life as it is, so why do you want to go down that road again?
vijendra singh: How do I impress a woman?
Love Guru: vijendra singh, no. Except saying, don't try, just be.
Baskar K: I am 24 years old, two years ago after completing engineering when I got a job, I moved to Chennai and stayed with my aunt (my mom's sister) who is 33 years old and never married. We both like each other and have incredible sex as well. She is incredible in bed but says that she can't marry me as society will never accept it, I am crazy about her. What to do now?
Love Guru: Baskar K, she is right, it is after all incest of a kind. Either you can get out, or stay on but be assured there is little chance of formalising what you have. The choice is yours.
PRADEEP: I am a married man and deeply in love with a married woman in my neighbour she also loves me and has given signals to it how to tell her that i wish to reciprocate.
Love Guru: Pradeep, you love her and she has indicated that she loves you too. And you don't know how to reciprocate? Qualifies for Ripley's Believe it or not, I think. But seriously, communicate to her exactly how you let her know you were attracted to her in the first place
Hiya: My divorce is almost final and I am ready to allow myself to get romantically involved with men. But whenever a man touches me, I have a feeling of panic and sometimes I even push them away physically. My scars from the marriage seem to still hurt. Do you think I can get over it?
Love Guru: Hiya, sure, given time I think you will. But rather than throw yourself headlong into another relationship, either on the rebound or in haste, I suggest you give yourself time. Deal with your newfound single status slowly, there will be issues you never knew existed, handle them patiently. In time, I am sure everything will be just fine
dhanpal: Hi loveguru, if every boy or girl have premarital affairs? What will happen to honest boy or girl? or what they should expect.
Love Guru: Dhanpal, why don't you worry about your life instead of worrying about others'?
yashveer: love guru really, I am very unlucky, she is transferred, to another district, this happen second time to me , in the yrs2002, same thing happen, really I am unlucky, thanks giving me a good suggestion, pls. pray for me if possible.
Love Guru: Yashveer, find a girl friend who doesn't have a transferable job, maybe, instead of ruing your bad luck?
rahul: I have fallen in love with my friend's ex-girlfriend. We used to chat and go out together. We were going steady as friends for four months and after I expressed my feelings to her, she said she needed some time to think about it. After a week, She sent me a letter and told me that we were better off as friends or brother and sister. Please give some advice.
Love Guru: Rahul, what advice do you want when she has been so clear in her communication? Not a reflection of you, but she prefers to have you as a friend, nothing else. Why? Maybe she will tell you if you ask her. But believe me, a girl knows her mind better than men do there
Saurav Goswami: I have an affair with a girl for the last 6 and a half years and for the last nine months she has been away. She now wants me around, but is also interested in another person. I want to know if she will come back to me or will she go away to the other person.
Love Guru: Saurav Goswami, could it be possible, just possible, that she got tired of hanging around for six and a half years, decided to check her options, not sure what has out there, and would like a backup just in case...? Don't like it? See things from her perspective for a change?
kunika: Pl help as I m not getting all this attention from my BF. Although he claims to be interested in astronomy, the telescope on his balcony is mounted to point directly at the apartment complex across the street. Every time a cute girl walks by the two of you, he takes your hand and says, "I just love how trusting you are!"
Love Guru: Kunika, are you mixing up cases here. There is I, he, you. in your post. Anyways, looks like you have landed with a diehard playboy. Now how you want to handle that, handle him, is best left to you. You know what you have in hand. If you are okay with it, fine. If not, you know what to do
neetasinha: I’ve been seeing a guy for about seven months, but we've still not made it official. He does sometimes say that he loves me and I may be The One, but he also says he doesn’t want a serious relationship right now. Which one of these should I believe?
Love Guru: neetasinha, is there anything contradictory about his statements? You could be The One, and at the same time he may also not want a serious relationship. I think you should be able to read them together. What he means is yes, you are unlike the other women, but I am not ready to take it to the next level. Which is fair, I think
sangeetha s: I have a boyfriend of 2 years, for some reason of his and attitude i got irritated and said its over, now its almost 1 week I never called or he never bother me to call. I love him and I am missing him. Should I call him back? I am confused please suggest.
Love Guru: Sangeetha that you didn't call him for a week because you were irritated, I can understand. But his silence in the same period is intriguing. But let's jump to any conclusions, it could also be part of the typical male behaviour many men display. Perhaps he felt too embarrassed to call, it's possible. Since you say you miss him, maybe you could try breaking the ice and see how he responds
syed murtaza: My wife confessed to me that she talked to her old BF for two months and she realised that it was wrong and felt very sorry, she has never met her, I love her too much my mind says not to forgive her but heart says to give her one chance, what you suggest
Love Guru: Syed Murtaza, before I suggest anything, how would you like her to handle the situation if the roles were reversed? We all make transgressions in life. She could have easily kept the matter from you, and there is no way you could have known about it. You get my point, right?
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Note: Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
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(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change.)
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