Sexual queries: What is retarded ejaculation?

Andrologist and microsurgeon Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti will be responding to rediff readers' sexual queries on a regular basis.

We invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the next set of responses:

Dear Doctor,

I am 28 years old, yet to marry. My problem is that from the last six months or so, after urination, a few drops of sperm also ooze out, causing a burning sensation thereafter. This happens after three to four days and remains throughout the day whenever I urinate. I am upset with this problem and hope your good self will guide me properly. I am healthy and I take a nutritional, balanced diet. Hoping for a reply,

With regards,
Anonymous

At age 28, if you are experiencing such burning and a semen-like discharge after urination for the first time ever, the discharge may not be just semen. Get both, the urine and the discharge, examined separately at a good lab nearby and follow it up with an andrology check-up.

I have been married for the past 6 years and have a 4-year-old son. From the beginning, my wife was not interested in having sex. On an average, we have sex once a month. Whenever we do, we have it twice and I feel that she reaches the orgasm state during the second time.

She had gestational diabetes during pregnancy, but it was well looked after and my son was 2.8 kgs when born. After pregnancy, there was no diabetes, but she always says she has got a back problem, leg pain and sometimes says she does not like me and not even to touch her.

From the beginning of our marriage (apart from the first four months), I have never disturbed her for sex. Whenever I feel like having sex I masturbate, on an average once a day. Recently, just two days back she has been diagnosed with post pradinal insulin level -- it was 136.6, which is high. But everything else is normal. She has been prescribed glycomet for three months.

My question is, what should I do? Is it okay to masturbate once a day? I don't want to bother or disturb her.

G Rajesh

You are absolutely right. Masturbation is totally safe, and free. Go for it and if you want 6,000 words of information on this subject, you must read chapters 9, 11 and 39 in my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word.

Dear Sir,

I am a 30-year-old unmarried male. I have this problem ever since I started having sex about 4 years back. My body is heavy, but I have never had any problem in getting an erection; in fact, I get rather quick erections whenever I am in the desired situation.

However, ever since I started having sex I cannot ejaculate. Sometimes I even had to give up trying during intercourse, because it would get painful and my penis would get so numb that I couldn't ejaculate even with masturbation. The erection during this time goes down, but still is there somewhat.

On occasions when I have been successful, it took me at least 10-15 minutes to get there, but with too much effort. On 95 percent of other occasions I have gone on trying for 20 minutes to 1 hour, all in vain. Due to this, my partners have always complained about the time I take to come, since it gets painful for them as well and hence non-enjoyable.

I have been masturbating for the last 12 years and enjoy it rather more because of my problem with intercorse. While masturbating when I am alone, I do not face any of the above problems, but the sperm secretion has become almost too little as compared to what it used to be before.

I am told by my friends that this could be because I have been masturbating almost every day from the last so many years, or it could be some problem with the veins in my penis, or some erectile problem or weakness in my penis.

Please suggest what I should do, as I am supposed to be married soon and don't want to face this problem anymore.

Regards,
Ramesh Ranganathan

Your friends are wrong. What you've got is a classical case of what is called delayed or retarded ejaculation. This is a complex condition that is difficult, but not impossible to treat. Chapter 19, Late Comers and Marathon Men, in my book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word, discusses this condition in some detail. You may be able to solve your problem just by reading this chapter.

Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. Click here to purchase the book from rediff Shopping.

Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.