Sex queries: 'My wife is not sexually active'

Andrologist and microsurgeon Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti will be responding to rediff readers' sexual queries on a regular basis.

We invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the next set of responses:

---

Dear Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti,

Myself Bhavani Raja, 22 years old. I got married 7months ago. After marriage I was too eager to get pregnant but till now I haven't.

Last month my days went up to 32 so I did a home pregnancy test and it showed positive lines, but within a day I got my periods. As we had a love marriage there are no parents or senior persons to advise us what to do and what not to do.

I just want to some ways or chances to get pregnant, I'm feeling so confused whether I can get pregnant or not? Day by day I am losing my confidence.

The main reason for that is before our marriage we had sex, I got pregnant and at that time we were not in a situation to get married -- so we aborted that baby.

No one is there to advise me or make me feel okay.

Awaiting your reply...my cycle period will be 30 days.

Babita*

Dear Babita,

One must allow unprotected intercourse for at least 12-18 months after marriage before expecting to get pregnant. 7 months is too short a time. Infertility is defined as a failure to achieve pregnancy despite unprotected intercourse for 12-18 months of marriage.

The best period of the cycle for you to get pregnant is usually the mid-cycle one. If yours is a 30 day cycle like you mentioned, you can expect to ovulate (release the egg) 14 days before the first day of bleeding of the next coming menstrual cycle. Your husband and you should have sexual intercourse on this day, two days prior, and two days afterward. You must have sexual intercourse only once on each of these alternate days. Your husband must not ejaculate between two intercourses. This helps to retain high sperm counts. Too frequent intercourse during the fertile period actually reduces chances of conception rather than increases them. You must guard against covert family and social pressures to get pregnant and not worry about them.

Your previous 'abortion' usually should not adversely affect your prospects of getting pregnant.

If after 18 months of these sexual practices, if you still do not get pregnant, the first test that needs to be done would be your husband's semen analysis test.

---

Sir,

I have an erection problem in my penis. I have taken so many ayurvedic medicines but they can't cure my problem. Please let me know what type of test required to know the exact problem I have.

From Jai

Dear Jai:

As explained on www.andrology.com, erectile dysfunction results from many causes. These need to be diagnosed before treatment can be begun. At andrology.com you will also find a list of all the tests that may need to be performed and the facilities available at Andromeda Andrology Center.

---

Hello Dr,

I am married for the last 3.5 years and have a girl child of 1.5 years. My problem is that my wife gets so exhausted that even if I want to have sex she doesn't feel like doing so.

Also, I have told her to increase her breast and butt size but there is hardly any action on her part.

Please tell me how can I convince her to increase her breast and butt size (they are quite small)?

Regards,
Gaurav

Dear Gaurav:

Your wife's exhaustion could be physical, mental or emotional. It could also be feigned. Talk to your wife and first address her problem before selfishly thinking only of your carnal sexual urges. If you are so upset about her small breast and butt size, you should not have married her. Your entire attitude seems to me to be a male chauvinistic one.

The best way to 'change your wife' would be by changing your own attitude.

---

Hi,

I have seen in a movie that a boy and girl swallow semen of each other. Is this act harmful to both of them? Is there any side effects inside body?

Kind Regards,
Anshuman

Dear Anshuman:

Oral ingestion of one another's genital secretions is generally quite safe provided both partners are free of infections and enjoy excellent hygiene, and will not cause any harm.

*Name changed to protect privacy.

---

Do you have a question for Dr Krishnamurti? Simply e-mail him at sexualqueries@rediffmail.com; responses will be published each week and names will be withheld upon request.

Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. Click here to purchase the book from rediff Shopping.

Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh