Sex tips: 7 secrets to have a great orgasm

How do you achieve that big O that leaves you trembling, vulnerable, shuddering and gasping for breath?

When the kids go to bed, mum and dad get to enjoy couple time, and you'd hope that the grand climax of this precious time together involves making love.

Even better than just love-making is if it ends with a mind-blowing orgasm for mum to take away all that accumulated day-time stress and tension.

An orgasm is possible if you do the right things -- starting from foreplay -- and continuing right through your time together.

But how do you achieve that big O that leaves you trembling, vulnerable, shuddering and gasping for breath?

We tell you how - not one way, but seven of them!

1. Sexy talk

For women, sex is so much more than just a physical union. It involves tenderness, love and the stimulation of erotic zones (yes, we have many) first, before actual penetration.

Some men might not want as much foreplay as their partners, but too often, women stay silent about what they really want, and where their partner should touch them so it feels real good.

Don't stay silent, mums.

Laura Berman, PhD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and OB-GYN at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University says that men need direction.

Ladies, you've got to tell your man where to touch you, what feels good and what doesn't. This kind of sexy talk is erotic in itself and paves the way to orgasm heaven.

2. Teach yourself first

You won't know what turns you on unless you explore your own body, mums.

Sex coach Danielle Cavallucci, advises, "To train your body to be orgasmic, you have to masturbate."

Invest in a good vibrator to help you orgasm on your own and when with your partner, it can take you to even greater heights.

3. Take risks

We're not suggesting to have sex in public -- that kind of risky behaviour could get you in a lot of trouble!

But experts claim that taking part in exciting, thrilling behaviours together causes your brain to produce dopamine that is one of the main neurotransmitters involved in the control of sexual behaviour, and this, can certainly get you wet and more than ready.

4. Work that orgasm muscle

Mums, remember how you were told to do your 'Kegels' when you were pregnant in order to strengthen your pelvic floor?

Turns out that working your Kegels is also equally important to get fireworks-strength orgasms!

"Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones," says sex educator Dorian Solot.

How do you find your Kegel muscles? Just stop yourself from peeing midstream.

And even when you're not peeing, you can clench and unclench them, which will help tone them. Just don't forget to breathe when you do this.

5. No quickies

Your orgasm will build in intensity if you delay it.

To do this, teach your partner how to bring you almost to a climax, then stop before you hit the big O.

Do this several times before you let yourself climax and you'll be surprised (and delighted) at just how deliciously intense the experience is.

6. Breathe together

One of the main tenets of Tantric sex is focussed breathing.

By breathing in tandem with your partner during love-making, you are able to create a bigger buildup of sexual energy which can really magnify the intensity of your orgasm.

7. Tasteful erotica

Mums, erotica doesn't just have to be about distasteful pornographic scenes, which actually might turn you off more than on.

Good erotica, in contrast, has a plot, and a steamy, sexy story that when watched or read together, can really take you to new heights.

Try something like the Herotica series, where women play the lead roles.

Old school erotica like The Golden Lotus series (considered as the Chinese version of Kama Sutra) or Lady Chatterley's Lover make for steamy reading together.

Or you can make up your own sexy stories, or even role play which can also help you reach new, orgasmic heights.

Lead image used for representational purposes only.