GET AHEAD

How To Heal From Toxic Relationships

By DIVYA NAIR
December 08, 2023 10:44 IST

When things don't materialise the way toxic people want them to, they may try different ways to control you.

Illustration: Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com

A toxic relationship can completely batter you as a human being.

It can destroy your sense of self.

But can a toxic person change?

And what about the person who is in a toxic relationship?

Relationship experts recommend coping strategies and tips that will help one repair, and recover from, a toxic relationship.

*According to relationship expert and transformational coach Dr Ashish Sehgal, cases of toxic relationships are reducing in India.

"You may be reading about these cases because of the exposure. But in the last 20 years of my career, I have seen toxicity (in relationships) reducing, especially in cities."

The reason is simple, says Dr Sehgal.

"Earlier, these things did not matter in relationships because most people were not aware.

"Younger couples are now standing up for themselves. Cases of physical abuse and domestic violence have reduced drastically due to awareness and literacy."

The basis of any toxic relationship is mistrust or the inability to cope with the emotions and stress that come with being in a relationship.

"Why does someone want to control? We try to control other people and situations when we are not able to control ourselves or our behaviour.

"Men do it because of patriarchy or cultural conditioning. As a culture, Indians are not taught to respect boundaries or space. People struggle to compartmentalise their emotions.

"Women behave in a certain way because they feel they should. When a pattern of these kinds of behaviours reaches dangerous levels, relationships start to break," explains Dr Sehgal.

As you get a better grip on yourself, these behaviours will automatically correct themselves.

*Another reason why young couples may be experiencing unfavourable behaviour, according to mental health expert Anu Krishna, is a general lack of patience and the increasing need for instant gratification.

"You have to remember that relationships don't grow on their own. They need to be nurtured with love and care," says Krishna.

She also reminds us why toxicity in relationships is a grey area.

"We are also seeing cases where people falling for 'cancel culture'; they are quick to pass judgements based on gossip and limited information.

"Due to this, a number of genuine cases get sidelined or lose momentum.

"Instead of always blaming men, it might help if we change our perspective and acknowledge that women also play the victim card at times while accusing men."

The bias is so obvious, says Krishna, that, as a society, it is always easier to blame the man in the relationship.

"What about clingy behaviour? When women fail to respect space and boundaries, it is equally damaging," says Krishna.

*Irrespective of gender or bias, experts feel timely intervention will help individuals identify and fix certain unhealthy patterns of behaviour.

According to Dr Sehgal, individuals who seek professional help can, with love, compassion and empathy, successfully move from a sense of entitlement to a sense of responsibility.

Mental health experts and relationship coaches recommend that you remember the following tips while you deal with someone displaying toxic behaviour.

What you must know if you are dealing with a toxic partner/relationship

DIVYA NAIR / Rediff.com

Recommended by Rediff.com

NEXT ARTICLE

NewsBusinessMoviesSportsCricketGet AheadDiscussionLabsMyPageVideosCompany Email