Delicate dumping is a situation where one partner falls out of love, but instead of being clear about their feelings, they use cunning strategies to get out of the relationship, explains Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating app.
Think you want to quit your job, but then again, you don't really want to put in a formal resignation.
The best way out is to be so bad at your job that your employer would let you go, making your boss the bad guy.
Now think of a relationship and imagine doing the same to your partner. That is delicate dumping.
However, it is anything but delicate. It is cruel, and it is toxic, and worse, it is trending.
India's most downloaded dating app QuackQuack's Founder and CEO Ravi Mittal says, "After other unhealthy trends like ghosting, breadcrumbing, and more, couples, in recent times, have been reported to be employing the delicate breakup technique to get out of a relationship.
"Our survey shows that 21% of daters between 20 to 28 have been on the receiving end of this trend."
To be more precise, delicate dumping is a situation where one partner falls out of love, but instead of being clear about their feelings, they use cunning strategies to get out of the relationship.
From gaslighting to resorting to harsh behaviour and exhibiting an indifferent attitude in the relationship, these people will employ anything and everything to escape the relationship.
Some people even call it quiet quitting.
People who cannot handle confrontations or do not have the courage to own up to their mistakes and have open communication of how they are feeling resort to such strategies.
19% of daters from tier 1 and 2 cities have called it the lazy way of breaking up.
There are ways people can protect themselves when they find themselves on the receiving end of such scheming.
Here is QuackQuack's take on how to identify and deal with delicate dumping
1. Sudden Changes
If there's a sudden change in one partner's behaviour, for instance, from texting every chance they get to suddenly text barely once a day, be prepared to be dumped; importantly, brace yourself to be a victim of delicate dumping.
In such a situation, the partner who is on the receiving end of it is advised to confront the one who is plotting.
Push them into a position where they cannot gaslight and have to admit that they indeed want to break up.
2. No Future Commitments
People planning to dump will almost never participate in any future planning, even the recent future.
For instance, if one partner seems nonchalant about how to spend Valentine's Day or any upcoming event that both partners are supposed to attend as a couple, they are most likely planning to break up, just not directly addressing their intentions.
Never shy away from enquiring why they are disinterested in participating in such conversations.
Keep questioning till they outrightly tell you the reason, giving them no chance to 'delicate dump' you.
3. Easily Irritated
It's common for long-term partners to get annoyed by each other from time to time, but it's merely for a fleeting moment, that's all.
If one partner seems irate almost every time the other tries to have an interaction, something is gravely wrong. It can be a clear indication of their intentions to end things.
Breakups happen; in fact, it happens a lot.
But what's faulty about this entire thing is that they quietly withdraw themselves from the relationship instead of communicating it to their partner, leaving them completely unprepared and unaware of the impending breakup.
33% of women who have been victims of delicate dumping say that standing up for themselves and asking for an explanation as to why every interaction gets them riled up is the best approach to save yourself from being gaslit.
4. Feeling Paranoid
A lot has been said about the ways the dumper might be acting before going ahead with the plan, but here's how the dumpee might feel that is a clear indication of something being awry in the relationship.
Paranoia; when one partner in a relationship has a gut feeling that something is amiss about their partner's behavior toward them, 75% of the time, they are right about it.
The dumper's scheming to get out of the relationship guilt-free might go to such an extent that the partner to be dumped starts questioning their part in the whole mess.
There's a certain paranoia that hits, and the emotional turmoil people face while this scheming continues to take a massive toll on the other person.
Here's the best way to put these doubts to rest: Introspect.
Ask, 'What exactly are my contributions to this relationship?'
'Have I been unnecessarily creating tension?'
'Is there something I can do differently to improve the situation?'
Once these questions have honest answers, there will be clarity, and often people find out that no amount of adjustment and compromise will change the situation because they are not the problem, to begin with.
Feature Presentation: Ashish Narsale/Rediff.com
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