It's understandable that you want to help your sister. However, it's important to remember that, ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual, says rediffGURU Dr Ashish Sehgal.
Are you struggling to get intimate with your spouse?
Is your family dealing with a stressful relationship?
Do you feel confused or threatened about your partner's sudden change in behaviour?
rediffGuru Dr Ashish Sehgal, a neuro linguistic programming (NLP) trainer and life coach who has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor, can help you with your concerns.
Anonymous: My sister is married to a j***.
He is lazy, lives off my sister's income, and doesn't really care about their children.
My sister doesn't want to divorce him for fear it will upset our parents.
Please advise how I can convince her that she is better off being single than living with this loser.
Understandably, you want to help your sister. However, it's important to remember that, ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual.
Here are some things you can do to support your sister:
1. Listen to her
Encourage your sister to share her feelings and thoughts about her marriage. Listen to her without judgment and offer support.
2. Empower her
Help your sister recognise her strengths and abilities. Encourage her to take control of her life and make decisions that are best for her and her children.
3. Provide resources
Share resources with your sister to help her make informed decisions about her marriage. For example, you can share articles or books about healthy relationships. Or connect her with a therapist or counsellor who can help her work through her feelings.
4. Be patient
Remember that change takes time. Be patient with your sister and offer support throughout the process.
It's important to respect your sister's decision and not pressure her into making a choice she's not ready to make.
Ultimately, she knows what's best for her and her family.
Anonymous: Hi, I have been married for the last 15 years. I have a daughter. My relationship with my wife is very bad.
She has been like this since the beginning of our marriage.
Ours is an arranged marriage. She didn't want any responsibility, she always wanted to go out and if possible go shopping.
If I asked her not to overspend she created a scene. She fights with everyone even in the office and with her parents.
She blames others for all this, and never thinks she could be wrong. If you correct her, she will say 'No need to teach me, I know.'
She does not even have a good relationship with my daughter who is in class 10th and stays in boarding.
I have 2 flats just like jodi flats adjacent to each other, I am staying in one and she is in another.
She hardly lets me have sex, but she talks or chats with strangers the whole night. When I try to question her, she starts fighting.
She doesn't listen and does whatever she wants.
If you question she will fight. I really don't know how to handle this situation.
I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me of all the mess.
We had fights lots of times. We even abused each other during fights, but the problem persists. Nothing has changed in 15 years.
Recently after a fight I stopped talking with her.
I am not sure how to move forward.
I talked with my daughter and she also suggested that I leave her alone for some time; she will realise.
Should I file for divorce? How to move forward?
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that, ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:
1. Seek professional help
Consider seeing a therapist or counsellor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.
2. Take care of yourself
Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet and engaging in activities that you enjoy.
3. Set boundaries
If your wife's behaviour is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting spending limits or establishing rules around communication.
4. Consider couples therapy
If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.
5. Think about your options
If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options.
Consider speaking with a lawyer who can guide you about the legal aspects of a divorce.
Remember, every situation is unique and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.
Anonymous: Hello Sir! I am a divorced guy and dating a girl since September 2022.
Soon she is going to file a divorce. She is good in nature.
Just 1 month back I came to know she is Parkinson's positive.
I don't understand what should I do. Should I continue dating or stop?
I know all the negative sides of Parkinson's disease.
I am very confused. Please help me what should I do?
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time.
You're feeling confused about what to do next.
Here are some things to consider:
1. Educate yourself
Parkinson's disease is a complex condition and you must understand the symptoms and how they can affect a person's life.
2. Communicate with your partner
Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about her diagnosis and how it may affect your relationship.
Ask her how she is feeling and what you can do to support her.
3. Consider your own needs
It's important to take care of your own physical and emotional needs.
Consider how your partner's diagnosis may affect your own well-being and whether you're prepared to take on the challenges that may come with it.
4. Seek support
Consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.
Remember, every situation is unique and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your partner.
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