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Are you a metrosexual?

By Lindsay Pereira
September 01, 2004

he fact is these men really exist, and their numbers are growing even as you read this.

Blame it all on Mark Simpson. One morning, in 1994, the British writer decided to coin a phrase related to contemporary masculine identity. He expected no repercussions of any significance. He couldn't have been more wrong.

A decade later, the American Dialect Society decided Simpson's word most signified what the year 2003 was all about: metrosexual. A heterosexual from a metropolis.

There are a number of definitions:

 Metro Makeovers
Want to be the 'metrosexual with the mostest'? Go for this:
  • Look in a mirror at least six times a day.
  • Feel free to tweeze and trim your eyebrows.
  • Also feel free to shave your legs and chest.
  • Never, ever leave home without using the right hair gel.
  • Moisturise daily.
  • Spent Saturday nights at trendy lounge bars.
  • Invest in designer boxer briefs.
  • Buy shoes for all kinds of occasions, including shoes for shopping and shoes for window-shopping.
  • Shop like a maniac anytime, and, if possible, all the time.
I prefer Simpson's definition: 'A metrosexual might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference.'

Now, the question is, why the heck has it proliferated the way it has?

Answer: Because it fits.

Our fathers would have had a stroke if they were to come across young men picking over a salad and discussing the pros and cons of hair colour brands.

Our mothers would rather die than date men who painted their nails and carried Gucci bags.

The women we know, today, aren't appalled at all because they have grown to accept the fact that these men really exist, and that their numbers are growing even as you read this.

Metrosexual dos

1. It is no longer uncool to tell your girlfriend that you 'adore Jessica Simpson'. For those who just came in, gender stereotypes worldwide began blurring around the edges years ago. Today, the roles aren't as clearly defined as they were in the testosterone-fuelled 1970s.

2. It is also perfectly acceptable to stop using a soap you think is 'too harsh' for your skin.

Male vanity hit the headlines in 1990, when rapper-actor Mark Wahlberg posed semi-nude for Calvin Klein underwear. Soon, men began wearing their pants low. By the time Simpson came up with a term to describe it, the metrosexual phenomenon was well under way. It explains why, 14 years later, one of our biggest icons -- David Beckham -- can play football with the best of them, wear nail polish and sarongs, pose for gay magazines and break masculine codes left, right and centre.

Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are also beginning to realise that having a softer side doesn't piss the fans off at all.

Sociologists believe that changing roles for women may have contributed to the era of the metrosexual. As they began playing bigger roles in society, women wanted their partners to pay more attention to appearance. Suddenly, grooming was not for women alone. The well-dressed, clean-cut, polished man was born. And the rest could just stay home and watch television.

Now, cosmetics brands say men make up 40 per cent of their customers, macho men aren't as popular in advertisements, and men's magazines have started covering more fashion than any other time in publishing history.

'Truth is, I was not being entirely serious when I first wrote about metrosexuality,' says Simpson on his Web site. He says he was being slightly satirical about the effect of consumerism on traditional masculinity. In one of those funny twists of fate, the satire actually helped proliferate the very consumerism it wanted to critique.

The Metrometer

Are you dating a metrosexual? Sound off with these guys:

Who: Rahul Bose, actor-director
Metrometre: Gets 8/10 on the scale for his ability to play rugby and go jogging with the Olympic flame dressed in silky white boxers.

Who: Dino Morea, model-actor
Metrometre: Scores 7/10 for his well-groomed, clean-shaven appearance. That well-toned body doesn't hurt either.

Who: Yashovardhan Birla, businessman-entrepreneur
Metrometre: A definite 10/10. Smouldering eyes and bright-coloured scarves. Need we say more?

Who: Kishen Mulchandani, businessman-socialite
Metrometre: A 5/10. Loves to party, wears the right brands, sticks to the right wine.

Who: John Abraham, model-actor
Metrometre: Gets a 6/10 for his ability to be drop-dead gorgeous and unashamedly sensitive at the same time.

Illustration: Dominic Xavier

Lindsay Pereira

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